EMBRACING WHO YOU ARE
We all feel like we are all under pressure to look a certain way, be a certain way, act a certain way. Which got me thinking… why do I try and conform to certain parts of life when others I am more than happy to push the boundaries over and burn them down. In every way of life we should all be happy in who we are, what we are about. No two people are the same and we should embrace our flaws and quirks because they are what make us perfect.
We are all guilty of putting images of ourselves through a series of apps to make ourselves look better than we do. I use at least three. It is only natural to want to make ourselves look better than we do if we can. But imagine if none of these apps existed. Imagine if we took an image and uploaded it or printed it to go on our walls straight away. No filtering, no whitening. Just us. You all know my issues with food as I have spoke to you all about them before. I went through a stage of my life for a few years by where I starved myself to be in control, to be slim, to fit into the smallest clothes I could. Looking back now I look at photos and I just looked ill, but at the time I thought I looked great. I was in charge of my life, the way I looked and who I was. But thinking about it, I was probably the most out of control I had ever been. I was using constant exercising, restricting my calorie intake to a bare minimum, feeling hungry was normal and seeing my bones was amazing. I didn’t know what amazing was. What I am feeling now is amazing.
When I was younger I was bullied for being the chubby ginger girl with the funny accent when I moved to Norfolk. I hated being different, hated standing out, what I hated most was being ginger. But now all of those things that I hated, I now love. They are what make me me. They are what make me individual. But all of that has come from my journey, everything I have experienced up to date has built up to make me feel the way I feel about myself. It has taken nearly 28 years though, it was not overnight. I can promise that.
I am in a happy relationship with someone who loves me as much as I love them. I live my life now. I won’t sweat the small stuff and feel extremely guilty for days if I eat some garlic bread. I enjoy my life. I live it.
I would be silly to say that it does upset me sometimes when I put on my dresses I used to wear and they no longer fit, but I have to remember I am happier now. Anyone who has had an eating disorder before will know that it is always there, it is always at the back of your head. That little gremlin, but it is fine, I get on with things now. I live my life. I am a normal size. I no longer worry as much about my calories and stress about the fact I haven’t exercised for hours on end. I still exercise at least three to four times a week. I would love to be a little thinner (especially when I have to get in a bikini!) but that will come in time when I am more confident in who I am. As you find happiness in yourself you no longer look for it in other ways. I no longer want to be size zero. I no longer want to be the skinniest person in the room. I want to be happy in myself.
Of course there are areas of my life I would like to improve on. I am not as confident as you may think. I have areas of my life that I would like to improve. I still do not have a career direction, but I trust that will happen in time, when it is meant to happen. I am a strong believer in fate. I get really confused with letters and numbers and there order. This probably seems really strange to you all as you read my blog. But I type, and then that is it. I can not re read it as it is too much for me. I write how I speak and I hope for the best. As I am getting older and now I am more consicous of it I think it is getting worse, but it is just one of those things. No one is perfect. We all have to accept our flaws as they make us who we are.
I am getting there with embracing my body flaws. I am Natalie and I have cellulite, I have funny toes, I have a freckle on the inside of my finger, a birth mark on my bum. The list could be endless. But I love who I am, I love the journey I am on. I trust that everything will happen to me when it is meant to happen to me. I just have to get in the driving seat, put my car in first gear and enjoy the ride for who I am. So should all of you reading this.
No one is perfect. Everyone airbrushes their lives, their bodies, what they show the world. No one posts those days where they are miserable, having a down day or have just had an argument with their friends or family. Everything is colourful, magical and full of unicorns. As humans we do not like to show weakness or show imperfections, but believe me they are there. Never compare yourself to someone else or what they perceive their lives to be, it is all adapted to what we want people to see.
So here are my tips on confidence and loving who you are:
Stop comparing- Stay focussed on you and what you are doing.
Relax, go with the flow and don’t sweat the small things. If it won’t bother you in five years time then why worry about it for five minutes!
Love yourself. You are a gift, nothing in life would be the same if you were not here.
Be positive and look for the good in every situation- Sometimes it will be harder than others, but there is always something positive. Trust me.
Do what you love. Life is too short to waste your time doing something that doesn’t excite you!
Let your body do the talking and listening. Listen to what it is telling you, it is always right. Stand up tall, make sure you count, body language is huge!
Celebrate your wins. You smashed it. Celebrate every achievement you make.